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“Hugo, I swear I would do anything to make up for leaving, whatever you ask–”
“There is one thing.”
“Anything, name it.”
The latch made a clicking sound as Brian slid it shut. “Well,” he said, turning around, “welcome to 'jail.'”
Hugo dropped his suitcase and gazed around the motel room. “It’s a lot better furnished than I thought it would be,” he said, perfectly straight-faced.
He didn’t want to ask questions, but there were too many bubbling up inside him to keep down.
Why did you let me in, why did you not push me away, what did you mean by ‘save me,’ why did you ask me to pretend to arrest you, what about Joan, what about your jobs, why are we here in some motel I can’t even remember the name of because you do weird things to my head–
Finally, they all rolled into one question that spilled out: “What’s going on?”
Hugo shrugged and swiveled his head away to look out the window. “I don’t know. I just know that when I saw you at my door…something inside me said ‘this is it.’”
“This is it for what?”
“Everything. This is time to run, time to change, time to be selfish for once.” His voice shook at the end.
“I was sure you would punch me when you saw me again,” Brian said, and Hugo surprised him by laughing.
“I’m guessing you liked my real reaction better?”
The memory of Hugo’s lips crashing and molding against his own was still fresh in his mind. “Quite a bit,” he replied with a grin he couldn’t control.
Why was he smiling? Why was Hugo smiling? This situation was so far from normal, so far from understandable that neither of them had any right to be smiling, but there they were.
Hugo’s smile was still gorgeous.
With some effort, he shoved his hormones’ interests aside. There were more important issues at hand. “You’re not serious about running away, are you? What about Joan?”
“She would rather stay with her boyfriend’s family than with me anyway.”
“I’ll take a leave of absence and decide where to go from there.”
“What about your house? The bills?”
“The mortgage is already paid off. I’ll just let them turn the utilities off if I leave for very long.”
For someone who had spontaneously decided all of this, it sure sounded well-thought-out.
“What happens next?” Brian finally asked, and Hugo crossed the room toward him, reaching out for his hands.
“Well…I was hoping we could pick up where we left off.”
His closeness made Brian’s breath grow shallow. “Do you mean in our relationship, or the kiss at the house?”
Hugo was rubbing the backs of his hands with his thumbs, squeezing his fingers gently. His hazel eyes were soft, glistening almost. And it was like no time had passed at all between them. The love he saw there now was a perfect copy of the love he remembered from so long ago. “Both?”
He said it so shyly.
Brian felt his eyes grow wet with tears – of happiness, of joy, of relief. Relief at last from the many-year-old regrets and pain he had been carrying with him all this time.
He still loves me.
After everything he had put him through.
He stared into his eyes and the warmth they held.
He had killed that warmth, once. Cruelly, coldly. Had looked right into eyes full of fear and desperation and had snarled a bitter “I know you don’t love me.” He had watched something inside Hugo die slowly that day. Even now he couldn’t forget those terrible memories.
A mistake like that will never go away.
Hugo seemed to understand where his mind was trying to take him, because he looked back at him and said, “Don’t worry. The past is gone now.”
A laugh mixed with a sob escaped.
He had been dying, bit by bit, day by day inside. Regret was intangible, but it could destroy a human as well as any poison. He realized, at last, that the buoyant warmth he felt was in fact the absence of the slow decay he had grown so used to living with. The man standing in front of him had made it vanish, just like that.
Hugo bent and met his waiting lips, and Brian’s own eyes fluttered shut, entrapping him in a world that was nothing but Hugo’s touch and scent and taste.
This was the only person who had ever been able to save him from himself. He was still the only one.
His desperation had already been spent earlier, when he first threw himself into Hugo’s arms at his house and reacquainted their lips in a long, starving kiss. Now he kissed him tenderly, slowly, basking in the warm silence between them, punctuated only by small gasps. Hugo was the one who slid his tongue between his lips and deepened it, made it fiercer and hungrier. His hands tangled in Brian’s hair, playing, tousling, tugging slightly.
Brian responded in kind, a low growl escaping his throat as he guided Hugo back until he was pressed up against the wall. Brian pinned him there and took control of the kiss, tongue-to-tongue and breath-to-breath. Hugo tasted of coffee and vanilla creamer and raw need. When he broke from him, he pressed his lips to Hugo’s neck and kissed a hot trail down to this throat where his jugular throbbed just under his skin.
Intensity rose between them, making Brian’s heart pound and his body strain for more. More closeness, more heat, more anything. He felt his stomach flip-flop with anticipation as Hugo’s hands dropped and traveled opposite ways across his back; one hand sliding up under his shirt to his shoulders, the other drifting below the small of his back and under his waistband, fingers brushing over skin that so longed to be caressed.
His shirt rose up and he felt air hitting the bare skin of his stomach and hips, upon which his tight jeans hung low. With their bodies pressed together, he could feel Hugo’s answering arousal against his abdomen. When he tugged Hugo experimentally toward the bed, he found him quite willing to move.
Hugo sat first and lay down, pulling Brian after him. Entwined in a kiss, they inched up the bed until Hugo could lie propped against the pillows, and Brian turned his attention to exploring his lover’s body.
He had changed after over a decade apart. The last time Brian had known him, they were both young. Somehow, the additions time had added to Hugo hadn’t tarnished his looks. When he smiled now, the new creases around his mouth added to the gentleness of his expression. As Brian pushed his shirt up, he found his body to be wiry and tough, mostly lean muscle under skin that had been weathered slightly after years of hard work.
Time hadn’t changed everything, though. When Brian nibbled at his ear and kissed his neck, Hugo lifted his chin the same way he always had. When he ran his hands down his chest, he gave the same contented sigh. When he knelt over his torso to cup his face and part his lips again, he felt the familiar shift of Hugo bending his right leg more than his left.
Things weren’t so different at all.
Hugo paused between slow kisses to pull his shirt off entirely. He wrapped his arms around Brian and pulled him down, and Brian’s hands were caught between their bodies and pressed against his bare chest. His fingers groped and found Hugo’s nipples, and his partner drew in a sudden breath. Under his right hand, as he rubbed the sensitive nubs on his chest, Brian could feel Hugo’s heart beating fast and deep.
Hugo smiled at him now and ran his hand up his face and through his hair, tucking the strands behind his ear. They fell right back forward again, making Hugo laugh as he brushed them back again and held them in place this time.
“I missed you so much,” he whispered.
“I missed you more,” Brian whispered back, and they both smiled as he rose back to his knees to begin unbuttoning his own shirt, only for Hugo to push his hands away and begin unfastening the buttons himself.
Never in a million years would he have dreamed this day would ever come.
And there was something about being in a strange motel room, in a town he hadn’t been in since he was a kid, being undressed by a man he hadn’t seen or spoken to in fourteen years that was undeniably, absolutely right.
<center- - -</center>
Brian shrugged out of his shirt in the casual, careless way that said he didn’t even realize how amazing he looked. He had always moved that way – unaware of himself or how captivating he was.
“You’re still beautiful,” Hugo whispered, running his hands lightly over Brian’s shoulder blades.
His face went slightly red.
“That’s such a feminine word.”
“Oh, I don’t think there’s any doubt that you’re one hundred percent masculine,” Hugo growled playfully, pressing at Brian’s lower back and forcing their hips to meet again. His partner’s erection was still very much there, the fabric of the tight jeans Brian wore accentuating every bump and leaving little to the imagination. The mere feeling of Brian’s arousal sent new desire racing through his veins.
Brian bent his head, pressing his lips to Hugo’s chest. He kissed his way down, pausing to run his tongue over his nipples. He worked his tongue over one and his fingers over the other, making Hugo gasp and want to urge him lower, but not wishing to interrupt his explorations. As he moved downward he seemed to linger over new scars and marks, as if memorizing the changes.
At last Brian reached his waist. He unfastened Hugo’s jeans with a quick tug and grabbed the zipper in his teeth, pulling it open. Hugo groaned aloud as Brian kissed his way back up his abdomen, rather than release a part of him that was really quite obviously in want of attention.
Brian paused, a rather wicked smirk crossing his face. “I could stop entirely if this is too much for you.”
“Don’t you dare–” Hugo’s words trailed off into a noise of sudden pleasure as he felt Brian’s hand sneak between his legs and rub him through his jeans. A new surge of warmth coursed through his body, culminating under the deft fingers now sneaking under the open fly of his pants. He had to hold back disappointment when Brian moved his hands away back to his waistband.
“We should just get these out of the way,” Brian said, grasping the jeans and pushing them down. Hugo couldn’t agree more and kicked his legs to help him get them and his undershorts off. Brian knelt between his legs and grinned, running his hands up the inside of his thighs. “Ah, much better.”
Hugo agreed, but the sound that came out was more of a moan than anything else, because Brian chose that moment to wrap those same graceful fingers around his cock. Unconsciously, he spread his legs and rumbled with enjoyment as Brian took him in his mouth, freeing his hands to explore as he bobbed his head. Hugo leaned his head back against the pillows with a sigh, focusing on letting his arousal build slowly.
He didn’t have to guide Brian’s hands like he had with other lovers. Brian already knew every sensitive place, every favorite spot, and he revisited them all. Hugo closed his eyes and surrendered himself to the feelings as Brian ran his tongue along the rim of his cock and sucked. His hands roamed; he massaged his legs, cupped his balls, and ran his fingers lightly over his tight opening below before he groped and caressed his way back to his throbbing erection. Brian had always seemed to know when he was near release and when to pull away, replacing the warmth of his mouth with cool air hitting damp skin. Hugo didn’t spare too much self-pity over it; they were both older now, and there was a lot more value to knowing how to make it last a long time than how to get off as quickly as possible.
Hugo opened his eyes and reached out for him, and pulled him into his arms to press a deep, hot kiss against his lips. He could taste himself in Brian’s mouth combined with the normal flavor of his lover’s kisses, and savored the mix as he felt his partner’s hard shaft pressing against his body through straining denim.
“Your turn,” he whispered when he pulled away, rolling them onto their sides and leaving Brian’s front open to him. He moved slowly, tracing his strong arms and smooth chest, until at last his hands ended at his hips and stroked his abs. A trail of downy blond hair led from his navel downward.
He felt Brian’s stomach muscles flutter under the touch and he gave a low purr and arched his back. Hugo unfastened his belt and tugged at the button underneath, and the front of his jeans opened with a series of soft pops.
He still wore button-fly jeans. Brian really never did change.
His jeans were too tight to slide down. He peeled the denim away, acutely aware of the damp warmth he felt under his hand between Brian’s legs. He played his fingers through the dark gold hair that curled there, taking in the sight of his lover’s arousal, and he felt a new burst of heat between his own.
Freed at last from his clothes, Brian hitched one bare leg over Hugo’s hip and pulled their bodies together, causing their erections to meet and rub against each other. Hugo’s hands settled over his lover’s pale bottom, pulling him closer, increasing the friction. He slowly moved one hand between them and wrapped his fingers around Brian’s shaft, rubbing him harder. Pre-cum made his fingers slick and he moved his hand faster. Brian moaned for more, and his fingers tightened over Hugo’s shoulders, his nails digging in slightly. The little pricks of pain only added to the sensations.
“D…Do you have…?” Brian whispered, breathless, and Hugo nodded.
“My suitcase. In the side pocket.” He let him go reluctantly, and grabbed him back into an embrace when he returned, as if he’d been gone for days rather than seconds. He could feel Brian’s fingers curled over a small tube he was holding. Brian pushed at him, rolling him onto his back and over onto his other side.
“Mmn…” he murmured as he felt Brian’s fingers massaging his back. What little tension he might have had left drained out of him.
God, what strong hands.
He felt the bed move as Brian worked his way down, and groaned aloud when he felt his fingers travel from his tailbone down and rub inquisitively at his anus. Then Brian’s hands spread his buttocks, and he felt hot breath against his skin and squirmed with anticipation.
Oh yes. Yes please.
<center- - -</center>
Hearing Hugo moan and feeling his body tremble as he pressed his tongue against his opening did nothing to decrease the intensity of the throbbing in Brian’s own body. He closed his eyes and let his memories guide him, of all the things he remembered Hugo enjoying, and was rewarded with strained whispers for more. He licked and explored with his mouth first, and slid one hand between Hugo’s legs to pump his cock as he did. Hugo gasped and writhed with pleasure when he inserted one finger and then two, gently tugging, not forcing him too far just yet, though his muscles had relaxed a lot after their foreplay. His own blood pulsed with desire, and he could feel Hugo’s muscles clasping over his fingers loosely, his body supple and waiting. He let him go and picked up the tube of lubricant he had taken from the suitcase – had Hugo known this would happen, or had it merely been wishful thinking? – and unscrewed the lid with one hand.
“B-Brian…” His lover’s voice rose. Neither of them was going to last much longer and he could taste their mutual need in the air, running high.
He squeezed the clear gel from the tube and slathered it over his own shaft, then licked a dollop from his fingers and transferred it to Hugo’s body, where his fingers were still gently loosening him. He took his time to push with his tongue, wanting him covered completely, wanting to make this moment perfect.
The low plea in his voice was unusual, and exciting. He lifted his leg and Brian helped him hold it, scooting back up the bed to align their bodies. When he plunged inside him, Hugo let out a full-throated moan, the very sound of which made Brian breathless as he felt tight warmth press entirely around his cock, enveloping him in pleasure. Every inch of already-sensitive skin was overheated and only more so now, and the heat and friction combined to make his every nerve stand on end.
Sideways wasn’t very good for going hard or fast, but it was perfect for long, slow love-making, which he savored now as he moved deliberately to make each pump count and hit all his lover’s favorite internal places. He drew each one out, coaxed as much anticipation as he could before offering the reward. With each stroke he felt Hugo arch his back and breathe out hard. He kissed the back of Hugo’s neck and shoulders as he thrust, ending some of the kisses with the occasional bite, and played his free hand through his thick, dark hair.
One of Hugo’s hands found where Brian’s hand was holding his leg and entwined their fingers.
He panted, the heady scent of pheromones and sweat and musk making him dizzy. Waves of pleasure rolled through his body, making his toes curl and his fingers tighten. His vision went blurry as he felt a surge of ecstasy and he released a low cry as he came. He felt all of Hugo’s muscles tense, and his hand entwined with Brian’s own suddenly gripped him tighter.
Hugo was breathing harder than ever. Brian let go of his leg and pressed his head against his back as he caught his own breath. He could hear his lover’s heart hammering inside him. Blindly, still half-drunk on pleasure, he moved his now-free hand forward and found his erection, slick with sweat and fluid. His hand moved easily, and it seemed Hugo could no longer hold back at this final touch. With a deep, relieved moan of his own he came, and Brian felt his hot release coat his fingers and his lover’s stomach. For a long moment they lay there entangled together, unable to move, and Brian closed his eyes and took in the simple sound of their harsh breathing, the feeling of his own chest heaving against Hugo’s tall back, and the scent of their orgasms mingling in the air.
Pulling out of Hugo, he managed to lift himself enough to see his shirt half-hanging off the bed. He grabbed it and fell back to the blankets, using it to wipe himself off with and dropping it over Hugo’s side for him to use. There was a change of clothes in his car. Or he could borrow one of Hugo’s shirts tomorrow. That thought made him smile.
He felt the bed move and heard Hugo’s voice, breathless and soft: “What are you smiling about?”
He looked to his side to see Hugo had finished wiping himself off and had rolled back to face him. The sight of his smile made him smile wider.
Hugo laughed and reached out, and he more than willingly scooted into his arms and snuggled up against his chest.
His body felt almost too heavy to move again, filled with exhausted exhilaration. He didn’t want to move, anyway. Not at all.
“I love you,” he whispered, burying his face and sweat-dampened hair against Hugo’s neck, and Hugo’s hands gently drifted across his back, almost absently, as if merely appreciating his existence.
“I love you too,” Hugo murmured, and kissed the top of his head.
“I’m never leaving you again. Ever.”
“Good, because I’m never letting you go again.” He stroked Brian’s arm lightly with the knuckles of his fingers.
Brian sighed, nuzzling the crook of his neck, and he felt Hugo curl his body around him. When he spoke, his voice was thick with mixed happiness and affection.
“I love you Brian. So much. I always have.”
He looked up into his soft eyes and smiled back at him. Slowly, he reunited their lips in a long, gentle kiss.
“I’ve always loved you, too,” he murmured, before Hugo started another kiss.
It didn’t matter how long he’d been gone. It didn’t matter that they were hiding out in some no-name motel. Nothing mattered except the person holding him.
At last, he was home again.
“Will you hold me until morning, so that I’ll know, when I wake up, that I didn’t imagine all of this?”
“I will. I promise.”</i>